he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
