im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
