I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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