After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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