Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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(630): View more from Illinois

hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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(631): View more from New York

You only like me because I'm a challenge

(201): View more from New Jersey

You already blew me

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(434): View more from Virginia

NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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(719): View more from Colorado

We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

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(706): View more from Georgia

We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.

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(315): View more from New York

the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.

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