problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
