Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
