Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
