Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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