I need help removing her.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I understand Curling. That high.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
