I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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