She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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