idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
