talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
