Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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