i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
