How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
