What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
