He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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