I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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