Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
