it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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