With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
