you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
