We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
