how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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