don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
