You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize