i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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