So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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