You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
