i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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