PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Houston, we have a blender
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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