he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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