Screwed.edu
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
my poor anus
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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