Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
