Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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