at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize