all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
