I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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