I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
