8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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