I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
FUCK WHALES
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
