just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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