Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I AM VODKA MAN
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
