Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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