I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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