Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
