Sponge bath it is.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
