Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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