Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
