she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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