Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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