I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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