Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
