I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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