MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize