this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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