I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
