I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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